I just finished reading a book that took a sociological look at the lives of American moms, especially in comparison to those in France. The basic conclusion: we are over stressed, over worked, over committed, over medicated, over anxiety ridden. Now, I can’t disagree with all that and much of what the writer said was quite true. It’s hard to read a parenting book, listen to a podcast, talk to another mother without hinting at or getting right down to those very points. We live in a 24/7 society, rarely stopping to relax, unwind or breathe. Mothers are feeling stretched to the breaking point, whether they are stay-at-home, work-at-home or work-outside-the-home parents. Regardless of the choice made, it seems that every mother is praying for extra hours in the day and arms to juggle the chaos. I know I’ve had my own moments and I’m sure they are only going to become more and more frequent as baby number two joins the family. But one thing I have to ask is: why are we so manic? Do we have to live at breakneck speed? Can our children still develop correctly without Mommy and Me classes? Will our children be ruined for life if they don’t play every sport? Must we be available to everyone we know at all hours of the day/night? Do our cell phones and email programs really have off buttons?
I guess what I’m wondering is how much of this anxiety and mania is due to changes in our world and society since previous generations, and how much of it is due to a lack in constant and intentional priority setting? Of course the ironic thing is our lives are filled with the latest and greatest technological features designed to make things simpler (I can’t imagine life without a microwave, clothes washer or indoor plumbing!), yet we understand relaxation and simple living far less than any generation before us. Perhaps these inventions have given us too many choices, freedoms, opportunities to not just grow and discover new things, but to over commit and over extend ourselves until we reach the breaking point.
So, to ask a few more questions, what would our lives look like if we backed off a bit? Set some priorities? Learned to live with extra time and room in our schedules? How would our children grow and develop without constant scheduling of play dates and Gymboree classes? Would kids still get into college if they weren’t involved in every sport and after school activity? Would there be as much road rage, anger and self-centeredness? Would we be able to enjoy the warm summer rain, glowing sunset and fragrant flowers? Would our kids recognize us if we did?
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About Me
- Meagan
- United States
- I am a writer, a reader, a black coffee drinker; a runner, a golfer and a lover of nature; a wife, a mother and a wanna be world changer.
1 comments:
We live parallel lives...I was just reading a book about this the other day. A bit of a broader perspective, but the part that caught my interest the most...
"A system of specialization requires the abdication to specialists of various competences and responsibilities that were once personal and universal...This supposedly fortunate citizen is therefore left with only two concerns: making money and entertaining himself. The beneficiary of this regime of specialists ought to be the happies of mortals - or so we are expected to believe. All of his vital concerns are in the hands of certified experts. Between stints at his job he has nothing to do but mow his lawn with a sit-down lawn mower, or watch other certified experts on television...The fact is, however, that this is probably the most unhappy average citizen inthe history of the world. He has not the power to provide himself with anything but money, and his money is inflating like a balloon and drifting away...From morning to night he does not touch anything that he has produced himself...He suspects that his love life is not as fulfilling as other people's. He does not know why his children are the way they are. He does not understand what they say. He does not care much and does not know why he does not care. He does not know what his wife wants or what he wants. Certain advertisements and pictures in magazines make him suspect that he is basically unattractive. He feels that all his possessions are under threat of pillage. He does no know what he would do if he lost his job, if the economy failed, if his wife left him, if his chilren ran away, if he should be found to be incurably ill...From a public point of view, the specialist system is a failure because, though everything is done by an expert, very little is done well. The specialist system fails from a personal point of view because a person who can only do one thing can do virtually nothing for himself. What happens under the rule of specialiization is that society...becomes more and more organized, but less and less orderly. The community disintegrates because it loses the necessary understandings, forms, and enactments of the relations amont materials and processes, principles and actions, ideals and realities, past and present, present and future, men and women, body and spirit, city and country, civilization and wilderness, growth and decay, life and death just as the individual character loses the sense of a responsible involvement in these relations..."
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