Storm

This morning was nice and relaxing. While the littlest one napped, I kicked back and read magazines before playing trains with the oldest. There was stuff to be done, but instead I thought I’d take a breather. I now refer to those blissful moments as the calm before the storm. As I focused my attention on my reading, I failed to notice the storm clouds brewing above me. Even with the first claps of thunder at 11:15, I didn’t know what lay ahead.

11:15 Baby awakes with enthusiasm.
11:17 Sensing that one-on-one time with mommy has ended, toddler begins to act out.
11:20 Toddler crawls into crib with sister and begins to poke, jab and make her scream.
11:25 Change baby’s very messy diaper and listen to her whine and wail as I lather her with sunscreen.
11:32 Change toddler’s very messy diaper and listen to him whine and wail as I lather him with sunscreen.
11:47 Take business call. Watch son raid desk drawer and remove headphones and earbud covers, which he then takes to his little sister believing they are appropriate toys.
11:49 Wrap up phone call. Explain choking hazards to toddler.
11:58 Place smallest in stroller. Strongly suggest to oldest that he had better climb in for himself as mommy’s patience is running low.
12:02 Finally leave for Farmer’s Market 35 minutes later than forecasted.
12:27 Repeatedly ask toddler if he would like some fresh bread. Decipher his desired response from his 5 “no” and 7 “yes” answers.
12:38 Allow toddler to exit stroller and run a portion of the way home. Repeatedly remind said toddler that he must keep moving so we can get home for lunch and so he doesn’t get run over.
12:45 Instruct toddler that it is time to get back in stroller as busy street lies ahead. Hastily chase toddler as he runs towards busy street.
12:46 Wrestle toddler back into stroller and firmly reprimand.
12:58 Sit down to lunch with sounds of whining baby in background.
12:59 Remind toddler that lunch is for eating, not singing.
1:18 Excuse toddler from the table with nearly all his food left on his plate.
1:32 Decide to get baby ready for nap in an attempt to squelch her whining.
2:05 Place baby in crib as she finally sleeps after repeated screams and flip flops.
2:12 Inform toddler it’s time for bed.
2:19 Lay down with toddler. Hear cat loudly meowing through house.
2:20 Chase cat.
2:24 Lay down with toddler. Hear baby cry.
2:38 Make first attempt to lay baby back in crib.
2:55 Make second attempt to lay baby back in crib.
3:07 Wake baby due to a tickle in my throat.
3:47 Wake up to tickle in my throat. Squelch before waking baby. Make third and final attempt to place baby in crib.
3:52 Grab crackers and hummus. Sit in front of computer to get some work done.
3:55 Go to crying toddler. Decipher whines to finally understand he wants me to lay with him.
3:58 Hear noisy cat. Plot revenge.
4:00 Relieved that cat has quieted.
4:01 Wonder if cat is eating hummus.
4:03 Leave sleeping toddler’s room.
4:11 Hear baby wake. Hear toddler crying. Again.
4:12 Call husband and desperately beg him to get home. ASAP.
4:19 Feed starving toddler leftover lunch.
4:20 Ask why he’s crying. Try to examine “hurting teeth.” Decide to try later.
4:22 Ask why he’s crying. Try to examine “hurting teeth.” Tell him time to whine is over.
4:23 Frantically call husband for his exact location and ETA as background cries intensify.
4:24 Retreat to backyard for self-imposed timeout. Contemplate staying there all night. Ponder feasibility of driving to airport and taking first flight. Destination TBD.