Sayonara, Greed Monster

Lately we’ve had an unwelcome house guest. He has entered our lives via our mostly sweet, typically adorable 4-year-old. Who is this visitor? The Greed Monster. I’m sure many others have experienced a similar guest. Symptoms of his presence include the insatiable want for more, constant pleas for something else and a lack of contentment with what already surrounds them. 

I’ll be honest; I’m not a fan of Mr. Greed. In fact, we had an altercation just the other day during an innocent enough grocery trip that left me in tears of anger (thank you pregnancy hormones) and in need of my own time out. Then it was followed up by an incident in the midwife’s office. The cause for the first incident was because of my unwillingness to fill our shopping cart with unnecessary junk or to stray from my pre-determined shopping list. The second public meltdown occurred because the receptionist dared to give Mr. Greed fish stickers instead of train stickers on his way out the door. How dare she!

Of course these are only the most recent and most dramatic run ins. We’ve seen this ugly guy on several occasions, but his visits have become much more frequent. He often rears his ugly head when a grandparent is nearby and he therefore assumes he should be given something. Or, at a restaurant when a junk toy should (in his opinion) accompany his meal. Don’t forget every shopping trip ever made when something always seems to catch his eye and begs to be taken home.

I admit that my patience for Mr. Greed no longer exists (hence the tears of anger). I believe (perhaps foolishly) that my son should be able to accompany me to the grocery store without getting upset if we don’t bring home ornamental Indian corn. Yes, Indian corn has been one cause for debate. We have tried explaining to Jonas that he is blessed with much and should be appreciative, that we spend our money wisely, that just because a character is on yogurt does not make it suitable for consumption. And yet, Mr. Greed continues to haunt us, forcing us to take drastic measures.

After the Sticker Incident of last week, we made a decision; the gifts stop here. He gets no special treats, toys or the like until his birthday in 6 weeks. If anyone offers him anything, he is to say “No, thank you.” If he asks for anything, we take away toys he already has until his birthday…or later.

We’ve told a few people about this decision. Some have been supportive (mainly parents of young kids who have been dealing with their own monsters). And some have been less than enthusiastic (mainly those who want to shower down gifts at each meeting…I won’t mention names, but you know who you are). I know some may think this is drastic, but I’m not a fan of Mr. Greed. In fact, I started the year attempting to simplify our lives by getting rid of unnecessary junk and clutter. I believe that “The less you own, the less that owns you.” And I also believe that creativity is fostered when kids have fewer things to distract their attention. 

So, Mr. Greed, if you’re listening, you fall into that “unnecessary junk” category. Consider this your eviction notice. Sayonara. Please don’t return.